| Sender Location | Fredricton, New Brunswick [Canada] |
| Transcript or Index | Fredericton, New Brunswick
Oct.br 2nd 1833
My dear Uncle
I do not deserve your kindness in writing to me again having so long delayed replying to your affectionate letter of February 7th. I have again to acknowledge the receipt of that of the 21st June. You may believe my occupations are not few, and besides one reason I have put off writing to many friends has been the desire to have something definite to communicate with regard to the Company. All still progresses well as they say here and your ideas of the benefit Edward will derive from the information and experience he has gained in this trying period of protracted operation are certainly correct. The satisfaction most handsomely expressed in his last official letter by the Directors at his zeal and industry in their cause, is most gratifying, I will trust now ‘ere long be followed up by something more substantial than mere words, for having had to pass the first twelvemonth indeed year and ½ of our onset in life dependant solely upon our little income without the means of adding to it in any way tho’ the opportunities have been many (from being pledged to the Company, and being [sic] a child of his own too Edward has not been willing to give them up,) has been most trying, and no little drawback to our future proceedings. However I trust our trials on this head are nearly at an end and before you read this hope we may with certainty have all arranged and be fairly at work. The investment I made of your kind present has as yet made no returns, but we hear Wheal Ramoth is going on most prosperously, and may look in a short time longer for remittances which it is to be hoped and expected may yearly increase. Thank you much for your kind congratulations on the birth of my dear little son, who is daily becoming more interesting and engaging. He has been uniformly well and healthy; and never has had any of the usual little troubles incident to infants. He has been about his teeth some time but none have yet made their appearance through the gums tho’ there is every evidence of their speedily doing so. He has left off his long clothes and caps precious to the cold weather and is brought up as hardily as any little tar or backwoodsman can be. I now feed him two or three times a day in addition to his natural food as it enables me to leave him occasionally for three or four hours, and besides I find it better for myself as he is a great drag upon me to support entirely, having always had a voracious appetite. I hope however not to have occasion to wean him till he at least has turned the twelvemonth, perhaps not till warm weather if I find myself continuing as strong as I am at present. I have often threatened to have an Indian cradle made for him that I might hang him up on a tree etc., etc. and take him with me a days excursion into the woods, but also my schemes like those of most mortals are more readily talked about than executed, for I had hoped this summer to accompany Edward a good deal, but unfortunately for ramblers we have a house and furniture and servants, therefore where I could have taken Baby I felt it was my duty to remain, however much I might dislike it as we have no responsible person to leave in charge of anything, and in this country if one means to be comfortable there is so much that one must really do with ones own hands that often for weeks together I have never stirred beyond the garden except to Church. I must own I have and do occasionally feel very lonely when Edward is away – for I have not the resource of books, not for want of the means of procuring them (for the Governor has kindly offered us any and all that he gets) but really for want of time, as I cannot with pleasure sit down to read when I know there are duties about the house requiring my attention, and my needle is never still. I look forward this winter, to a little more leisure as I probably may never have as much to do again as I have had, for when I came I had carpets curtains sopha and chair covers, winter and summer sets, mosquitoe blinds, baby’s long clothes and now his short ones which I have just accomplished, besides the every day mending for us all, and not the least the altering my own clothes from my alteration of figure and the realtering them after baby’s birth and adapting them for nursing etc etc. This with one pair of hands you may believe takes a little time to accomplish, and pickling and preserving is only just out of the way. I am now occupied in making preparation for our winter campaign as this is the time of year for laying in stores of every kind, fuel, flour, groceries, tools etc etc. The meat will be laid down in the snow next month and it requires no little head to remember and prepare for all contingences, and I feel not a little pleased that we as newcomers were never short of anything throughout the whole of the last long winter when many of the old residents were put to serious inconvenience. We of course had to pay for everything last year from arriving so late, but I shall hope to complete our stores at a much cheaper rate this season. I wish with all my heart the Company may decide upon our going at once into the woods for situated as we at present are, we are as little independent of the world and its useless forms and ceremonies as we should be in London, indeed a great deal less so for there every one may do as he please without being subjected to the ordeal of discussion by his neighbours, whereas here dress and visiting, (in its most uninteresting shapes) by being less easily attainable, cost more time trouble and expense than at home and every one is situated pretty much according to the appearance he makes and to maintain really anything like a decent station in society, must in some degree conform to the prevailing standard. You may believe this does not a little annoy me, and I see by your letter you imagine we really are living in the woods whereas we are within a mile and half of Fredericton, and I believe subjected to more gossiping from our being a convenient distance for a drive than if we were really in the Town which by the way I should be very sorry if we were as we at least breathe pure air here. With respect to factious meetings etc etc. we have as great a spirit of discontent and malevolence abroad as you can well imaging anywhere. It pervades nearly all classes. Every mans hand seems raised against his brother and where not his hand at least his tongue. Radicalism in it worst features are to be found, and it is impossible to pourtray [sic] the entirely selfish feelings which seem to actuate everyone. Everyone seems to live for himself and for himself alone. There does not appear to be one honourable principle that dictates a thought or an action, let alone a religious one. In fact I should say there is everything in nature to make one delight in this country and everything in man to make one detest it. I only hope capital may be brought into it in sufficient force to enable the English to form a colony of their own independent of the Blue Noses as they are called who are jealous in the extreme of every old countryman who makes his appearance as they say they are taking the land from their children. I should say the Church is in a very low condition too for all the zealously active Ministers of the Gospel are what are here called Methodists, I believe I may make one exception, tho’ I do not know him personally and should say from my experience that the best people are of that denomination. The greater number of the lower orders are of the lowest as you will understand when I say they are for the most part Irish Roman Catholicks. The Indians too are a proof how much more pains is taken by that Church than ours as they are almost all Catholicks and good ones too, (i.e. bigotted) and have a Chapel not ten miles from Fredericton. I hear that there is to be some changes made in the payment of the Church Clergy here, that their allowances from home are to be taken away and their only salaries are to be derived from their congregations, in fact putting them and the Dissentors pretty much on a footing. I do not yet clearly understand it but I sincerely trust whatever amendment may take place will be to the furtherance of genuine piety and Christianity and I also hope those who really do work in the Good Cause may be those who receive the remuneration. I feel the want most sensibly of some religious friends and associates, for with all the desire and endeavour in the world to maintain a sober and watchful spirit, yet I see with pain how much one yields to the tone and feeling that pervades ones companions, and how difficult it is to keep oneself separate, as those who have once experienced the sweets of religious communion must always deplore the want of, till again regained. In the main Edward and I are agreed, but there are some things I want words to convince him of and he is most desirous to be convinced but cannot conform till he is, so that I often fervantly wish we has some more advanced Christian friends than ourselves near us, as it is I can but pray for the guidance of that “Holy Spirit who has promised to lead us into all truth.” It would seem to be very uphill work with servants or others to give them anything like religious principle but the more difficult the more necessity for urgent endeavour and prayer. I have one very good principled young woman who has the charge of Baby, tho by no means an efficient servant but I believe what she says and trust her from my sight. She is a Methodist like all in this Country. She will do what you want as a favour, but does not like to be desired. We have lately been occupied by losing our manservant whom we brought with us and who was one of the steadiest most industrious handy fellows you could desire in your service when we first had him. He had been brought up in Edward’s family, and all his friends are known to thrm and we had hoped he was attached to us and would have remained with us . But he has unfortunately for us and more so for himself got acquainted with loose companions since here and taken to drinking, the prevailing crime of this place from the cheapness of spirits. He has besides got what every young man who comes to this place almost is bitten with , “the States mania” and if he do not entirely ruin himself now that he is freed from the restraint of a master, I shall wonder. It has not been for want of good advice and talking to and his master has acted the part of a friend to him in every way sometimes contrary to his own interests, but the United States offers such inducements from the mormons circulation of capital and high wages, that none will stay here at any rate as servants as every man who has a few pounds in advance sets up for himself in some line or other, and the women if they are good for anything get married, so that there is a fair chance of all being masters in time and no one to do the work of any house. It is in this way the system of equalization is going on, and it seems probable in course of time all destruction of rank will be done away. Perhaps not in our days but in our childrens or the generation after if the world lasts so long. How we shall replace him I know not and It puts us to the most serious inconvenience in many ways. I shall feel it especially as I quite dread being left by myself subjected to the idleness and impudence of the few that are to be obtained here and yet that one cannot do without. The destruction to ones property too from ignorant, careless and indifferent people no one can be aware of till they have experienced it. I am afraid you will be tired of my domestic grievances, but they enter so much into our everyday comforts, that I cannot refrain from speaking of them more especially as all these occurrences serve but as proofs to shew what the times are.
I have been endeavouring to make a collection of the native plants that have come under my view in my limited rambles which I intend sending to Dr Richardson having now the opportunity , tho’ I fear they are so few and so common he will hardly care to receive them. The time they take shifting and drying the papers too no one would imagine but those who have done it, but they will be an earnest [?word missed out] of my future industry if he thinks it worth following up. I am even more anxious for geological specimens, and I would give anything to follow Edward in his excursions. You cannot imagine what a deprivation it is to me to stay at home, and were it not for a sense of duty, and feeling that my first one is to make his home comfortable I should with very ill grace submit to the drudgery of household affairs. I sometimes think I ought not to express such feelings but I cannot readily give up what is so delightful and congenial to my taste. There is a good field for a naturalist in birds and insects, tho’ perhaps there may be none here not already well known, but to me who have never been out of England there seems much that is curious and beautiful. Oh how I do wish eating, drinking, dress and housekeeping did not occupy so much of ones time and thoughts. I often think the Yankees plan a very good one of living in boarding houses, and then one may have time to follow ones pursuits, tho’ it must often be at the sacrifice of much of that delightful word to an Englishman - comfort – but if I can in anyway come up to Solomon’s description of a virtuous woman I may be content. I have the happiness to know that “the heart of my husband doth safely trust in me” and I patiently hope one day “my children may arise and call me blessed.” This ought to be enough for me.
I am impatiently looking to welcome my brother William. It is impossible yet to say what his prospects are but I cannot but think it well he should make the experiment however doubtful. He will be a great comfort to me tho’ if he succeeds in his profession. I do not expect he will be much more at home than Edward. I thank you much for what you say about Henry, and feel convinced you have his interest warmly at heart, and I trust he may continue to deserve your good opinion. His promotion at the present moment, I have not the slightest idea of, as he has no claims to bring forward, but must hope for more stirring and liberal times. My greatest reason for wishing it speedily would be that he should become independent of my dear Father, who as he declines in life and is less able to make exertion for his children should not feel them burdensome to him, or for whose sake he may not be obliged to debar himself many indulgences which his unremitting industry ought now to enable him to allow himself. Your dear little girl I hope to be able to write to by this conveyance. It seems as tho’ my letters were never to reach her, for I wrote to her in the Channel having been unable to do so before going on board and never had an opportunity of putting my letter ashore and afterwards from hence when it was unfortunately lost with all others in the Calypso. I should be very sorry she forgot me, and I assure you my tender feelings towards her have not lessened nor do I believe ever will. Her dear Mother was too closely rivetted to my heart. I often think my dear child is the age at which she was deprived of a Mother’s love and care. None can truly value them till they are parents themselves. I am quite certain no one else can form the most distant conception of the depth and intensity of maternal affection. Mary Richardson too is looking forward to being similarly blest. I cannot doubt her happiness in one iota, and yet I cannot believe it equals mine. I cannot fancy any two mortals can be as blest as we are. I hope she may feel the same as she I am sure deserves it, no less than her estimable husband. All my young friends are now married and I think all with as fair a prospect of happiness as human beings can wish. I am sure a great deal is in our own power, tho’ I feel confident most of the coils of the married state arise from unequally yoking themselves and entering into the most solemn of all engagements without due seriousness and consideration. I would never advise any one to marry who was what is commonly called blindly in love. A more subdued rational feeling gives greater prospect of continued unab[a]ted felicity.
The Influenza seems to have caused most serious illness and in many cases death in England. We have hitherto been spared any visitation here and the climate generally is most healthy. All in my Father’s house have suffered more or less severely and my sisters Ellen and Eliza have not in my last accounts yet regained their strength. Mama has been suffering from indisposition of various kinds, but they all wrote in better spirits in our latest communications, and Papa was much recruited by a little excursion he had made into Normandy with Emily. I am half inclined to envy them and Lady Franklin the delight of seeing anything that tells of byegone times. The sight of an old church or even a stone wall would “be good for sore eyes”. All here except the forests and the rivers is so new and so dreadfully unclassical. Architectural proportion or taste in any way is set at defiance. I am afraid after visiting, the seat of all that has been classical and beautiful, Greece and Italy you will be little desirous of doing despite to your sight in the tasteful anomalies you encounter at every turn. Nevertheless if you really like to run the risk you may always be assured of a hearty welcome whenever you and she will traverse the Atlantic to visit us. I really am not joking for I look forward in fond anticipation to the realization of your half promise to do so, I only hope we may be in a house of our own and able to make you comfortable. You ought to stay a year when you do come to participate in the agremens of all seasons and it would not be worth while to come so far for less time. Pray tell her all this with my affectionate love and say how glad I am to find she has derived so much benefit from her journeyings in the Eastern Hemisphere. She may there have gained strength enough to be able to encounter the extremes, tho not unhealthy climate of New Brunswick. I would not say as much for Canada.
Miss Hooke was married on the 28th of September and I trust may be happy. Her family have been uniformly kind and friendly to us, Henry speaks of her brother on board the Rainbow in high terms, and Captain Hooke has expressed himself much gratified by the friendly interest you have displayed towards him. His patron Sir H Hotham’s death, has been a great blow to his hopes, but I fear he is but one of a number similarly situated. Captain H. has leave to go home in the Spring and we shall feel their loss very much. His wife especially is an amicable ladylike woman and very much my friend. I am afraid as soon as the stoves are lighted again I shall never have a moment free from anxiety, I got such a complete fright last winter and mischief may be going on when one is quite unaware of it, from the dangerous system of warming by stoves. We must take all possible precaution and leave the rest in the hands of our merciful Keeper who neither slumbereth or sleepeth, but I feel almost as tho’ if I were woke out of my sleep by fire it would kill me. I never experienced such a shock – and I can never be grateful enough for its happy termination. There is nothing comes up to the horrors of fire. I trust whatever may await me I may have strength to bear it that my presence of mind may never forsake me. My dearest little man has been christened. We call him “Edward Kay”. Papa being one of the sponsors. I hope if we ever have any more you may be willing to answer for one of them. I should so much like you to be good enough to oblige use.
When William comes I expect I shall have to open my Harp. The cover has never yet been off since it has been in the Cottage. If it had been a piano it would often have been resorted too and a great relaxation it would frequently be. If the company allow Edward what he hopes, he means to be kind enough to give me one next Spring. I believe I must draw to a close for this is only one out of twenty letters I have to write, but I was determined not to lose this opportunity. You will probably be in England when this reaches it. If not they will know whether or not to forward it.
Our best love attend you. Believe in the sincerity of attachment of your always affectionate
Mary Anne Kendall
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