|Description||Glad he likes the letter of Mrs Niven [Anna, nee Vardill], as she is a woman of great talents, not to be told so as her comments would seem like flattery. Receipt of his note when she was sealing up her own, some of which is perfectly satisfactory; she encloses what she has written, even though it would not be necessary now [not with letter]; he is not to fear she will lecture him any more about it; she will not talk about it yet, being mistress of what she writes but feels very nervous when his eye is fixed on her. She cannot enter into marriage with the light feelings of a girl of eighteen; she believes she has been much alone of late. She would undertake the duties and cares of marriage, but she has terrified into stupidity by thnking about it. Much of the enclosed was more strongly written than she could wish after his note, but she cannot alter it now and knows that he will forgive her. She will be at home tomorrow but admits she will be afraid to meet him.|
|Recipient Location||3 Great Marlborough Street|
|Transcript or Index||I am glad you like Mrs Niven’s letter. She like me is a votary of the Muses, and has more various and higher <talents> than I ever met with in any one. I say so to you, but I never told her so, lest it should sound like flattery, though it would not be so. Her conduct too as a daughter has been above all praise. She has her foibles as well, but I am not the less just to her merits because I see them also. |
Your note has reached me as I was about to seal up mine. To me it is perfectly satisfactory, but as the enclosed has been written I will send it, though it would not now be necessary. Do not fear that the Lecturing Spirit has got into me – I will plague you with no more of it. But I cannot talk with you on the subject yet. To me it is too awful, and when I attempt it my tongue becomes parched and cleaves to the [roof] of my mouth and I feel as if my ideas were gone. I can be mistress of m[ysel]f when I write <though at the expense of a burning hand and a headache>, but when you begin to question me with your keen eye fixed upon me I feel that I am still very, very nervous. Neither can I enter into Marriage with the light feelings of a girl of eighteen. I believe I have been too much alone of late. I would seriously undertake its duties and its cares along with its blessings, but I have mused upon that subject <also> till I have absolutely terrified myself into stupidity.
I feel that much of the enclosed is more strongly written than I could wish after the receipt of your note, but I cannot alter it now & know you will forgive me. You will find me at home tomorrow, but I own I shall be afraid to meet you; and why should that be?
ever your sincere and affectionate
Eleanor Anne Porden.
Captain Franklin R. N.
3 Great Marlborough Street
July 10 1823
NOON 10 JY 1827