Sailors in a Calm Three sailors sit on a heavily laden horse. The first, seated nearest the tail comments: "What is Tom Pipes, about there at the Helm - does he mean to set Sail or not. " The next one adds: "We shall never get to Portsmouth at this rate." The third, holding onto the horse's ears says: "You may say that my hearty we have been on board this half hour and D--n me if I think I shall ever get under way." They are watched by a fourth sailor, standing on the right, who comments: "Why Mess-mates you seem in a dead calm." 1 Jan 1807